In 2015 I decided to start doing Christmas themed portrait sittings. I had done them before but only with props that my clients had brought with them. This year I wanted a full on background set up.
I’d had Rupert in April 2015 so I had the most gorgeous model to use for my advertisement and I couldn’t have been more excited to get a portrait of Rupert for his first Christmas.
In March 2016 I got pregnant with Xavier. I did the maternity portraits and we did his newborn portraits in December when he was born, but I skipped the Christmas portrait sitting.
Because he was a December baby I wasn’t working during Christmas as I was on maternity, and so I didn’t do a Christmas themed sitting for my clients, and although I thought about setting up just for portraits of my own children, I didn’t.
I struggled with antenatal depression whilst I was pregnant with Xavier, and I never really got over it until he was way past the newborn stage.
I told myself that it was too much effort and too difficult to set up the background just for myself. I would do portraits of them next year-he would still be little then.
I did 2017’s portraits as I told myself I would, and by the time 2018’s portraits came I not only had a Christmas portrait of the boys but I had an extra little surprise to photograph too-Mary.
Fast forward to the present year-2019. I’m getting set up for this year’s Christmas themed portrait sitting. I’m going through all of my previous sittings I’ve done, of my children and of others, so I can post some pics to advertise.
And I’m angry. I am so angry. I am so unbelievably mad ay myself for not plonking a tree and a sleigh in front of my backdrop and taking a few photos of Xavier’s first Christmas.
I don’t think I will ever be able to look at any of the Christmas memories that we’ve captured of them being little without feeling huge amounts of regret.
Now I know you have other things to pay for. I know money can be tight and you have to prioritise. I know right now you feel like they will be little forever and maybe you can get all the nice things you want next year BUT if you have been wanting a professional portrait done of your family or your children, and you’re waiting for whatever reason, be VERY VERY mindful that they will not stop growing whilst you wait.
This I can not stress enough.
When you look back in ten years time do you think you will want to remember how amazing your living room décor was or look back at a portrait of how absolutely adorably chubby your baby was. Will you be glad you had take away each week or had a portrait of you all together, whilst you were still living under the same roof and playing games together.
I am in no way saying that you shouldn’t decorate or eat take away and come and spend all of your money on professional portraits! I am just saying that when you sacrifice the opportunity to have these moments captured now, for whatever reason, consider what it is going to cost you in the future when you look back?

I think of that quote “The days are long, but the years are short.” We really really don’t realise where the time is going.

I’m heart broken I missed that year and I think I always will be.